1. |
Detritus
01:28
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i feel like a suspension bridge
holding myself up with tension
and anxiety in my bones
guess i’ll spend another night alone
my heart’s like oceanic crust
being pulled down after losing trust
i’m buried deep underground
compressed by layers of self doubt
i’m trying my best to be honest and open
but it’s hard when you’ve been completely broken
i’m like sequestered carbon
getting sunk in bogs and marshes
i think i’ll stay here a while
so i won’t have to fake a smile
will i always feel this lonely?
will anyone ever love me?
will i always feel this lonely?
will anyone ever love me?
i’m trying my best to be honest and open
but it’s hard when you’ve been completely broken
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2. |
Come Clean
01:33
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i’ve cleaned my sheets repeatedly since you left
i can’t get the memories of you out of the threads
it’s like you’re woven into every fiber
i can’t get rid of you with soap and water
even though i wash rinse and repeat
it’s like you’re still wrapped around me
i detect a linger of your scent
a reminder that we were never meant
i wash rinse and repeat
you’re still wrapped around me
i detect your scent
a reminder
why couldn’t you have just come clean?
you should have come clean
it’s getting hard to breathe
spin cycle making me dizzy
trying to wash myself of you
delicate setting won’t do
this is a heavy burden
trying to rid you from me
this is a heavy burden
trying to rid you
no wonder why i always
felt like shit around you
you’re just a toxic chemical
disguised as perfume
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3. |
Spazone
01:30
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bright lights, uncomfortable chairs, name called, and stale air
check off lists, answered before, name signed, tally up the score
hours pass, patterned floors, name called, and close the door
breathe in, breathe out
make sure i, have a pulse
shove a swab, down my throat
take one more, vial of blood
write a script, pack up my shit
i’m still feeling sick
bright lights, uncomfortable chairs, name called, and stale air
a new room, looks like the past, a new test, can it be my last?
chronic illness, chronic disease
i hope this next pill, goes down easy
chronic illness, chronic disease
i hope this next pill, goes down easy
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4. |
Congrats, You Win
02:07
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how can i stay afloat
when my lungs are filled with lies
that are shoved down my throat
my body’s sinking fast
now my lungs take their last gasp
lower the flag to half mast
your grip on me
is like a marionette
no control
i’m just your, puppet
i’m just your
i’m just your
i try to undo the strings
but they just keep tightening
i feel so trapped
your heavy hands
like a noose around my neck
i try to undo the rope
but i’ve lost any sense of hope
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5. |
Withdrawn
02:08
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what am i doing wrong?
i’m receiving no, receiving no phone calls
no one’s knocking at my door
pictures fade, have i changed
can anyone remember my face?
even when i’m present, i’m stuck on the sidelines
at the top of the bleaches, with binoculars on my eyes
looking for a way in, looking for a way in, looking for a way in
i think i’ll put on my resume “has a talent of pushing everyone away” and “excels at hiding their pain by locking themself inside all day”
where do i belong?
i’m always so withdrawn, withdrawn
no one can get past my guard
where has everyone gone, where is everyone?
somewhere along the way, i started stacking bricks around me
and now i’m trapped, inside this prison i’ve made
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6. |
Deflection
02:34
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you blame it on me, your defensive ways
your short responses, and disaffected gaze
you blame it on me, tears down my face
your sarcastic tone, that creeps in, everyday
questioning all of my decisions
making me feel like i’m the villain
you don’t feel anything
when i’m hyperventilating
cause you’re always shifting shifting, shifting, shifting, shifting the blame
you blame it on me, say i don’t communicate
who’s dodging questions, looking for an escape?
who’s playing mind games, spewing false claims?
how do you not feel shame?
act with integrity
take accountability
have an ounce of empathy
what if you were me?
did you think i would believe your non-apology?
why can’t you say sorry?
cause i can’t just sit
cause i can’t just sit
cause i can’t just sit
no i can’t just sit here and be your target
from now on your blame will ricochet
i won’t let you compromise my day
no way
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Olivine Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Four-Person post-hardcore band. Established 2019, realized 2022.
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